


Will You Look At This

by XWingKC



Category: Stargate SG-1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27154331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XWingKC/pseuds/XWingKC
Summary: Fictober 2020Prompt number: 9. Will you look at thisFandom: Stargate SG-1Rating: Teen and UpWarnings/Tags: Language: Uses the word ‘ass’.Another tea ceremony gone wrong?
Comments: 24
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

She didn’t listen. She didn’t listen to any of them. She drank the tea. And not even half of the small cup. But she drank the tea. And now she was high as a kite.

The Stargate was only about an hour away. Teal’c started to carry her over his shoulders. She kept laughing and pointing, and they even heard some singing from her. 

“Hiiiiiwaaaay to the Danger Zone!” Sam was singing, way off key, and way too excited.

Jack looked at Daniel and they both laughed.

“Whatcha laughing at guys? This is the Danger Zone!” Sam said, slurred speech and all.

“Sir, if you are behind me I can’t watch your six. Daniel, tell Teal’c to put me down. I can fly,” she said.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sam,” Daniel said.

“I will not put you down, MajorCarter. Please stop wiggling,” Teal’c said.

“Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle,” Sam said with a laugh. “Oh! You know who else told me not to wiggle?”

They all heard an “Oy,” from Jack.

Sam popped her head up as much as she could, using her hands on Teal’c’s lower back to prop herself up enough to look around to find Jack and Daniel.

“You did, sir!” She started laughing when her eyes met his. “You said, ‘No wiggling, Captain,'” Sam said in a deep voice, imitating more of a man’s voice.

“No wait! You said no giggling!” which made her laugh even more. “You said,” she giggled, “No giggling! Wiggle!” laughter, “Wiggle and giggle rhyme!” more laughter from Sam.

By now the guys were all smiling and laughing at Sam. Teal’c was getting tired of carrying her and her wiggling, so he stopped and put her down. She could not stand up. Daniel grabbed her from behind and lowered her to the ground.

“Oh, look. My legs don’t work,” which made her laugh. “Daniel. Daniel, carry me?” Sam asked Daniel, batting her blue eyes at him.

“I got her,” Jack said. He bent down to pick her up. Daniel helped get her upright. They tried walking with Jack on one side and Daniel on the other, but they didn’t even make it a quarter of a mile before Jack slung her over his shoulder.

“Weeeeeee!” Sam exclaimed as her position rapidly changed from upright to upside down, facing Jack’s back.

“Well, will you look at this!” Sam said. “Sir! I can watch your six. All the way back to the Stargate. Yes. I got your six, Jack!” she exclaimed, and at the same time, grabbed both of his butt cheeks in her hands.

It surprised Jack so much that he almost dropped her.

“Carter. Let’s not do that,” Jack begged.

“Wow, sir, I’m sorry, but, that’s nice,” she said, letting out a small laugh. “Oh my god I touched your butt. Please don’t bring me up on charges,” and she started to laugh again.

“That’s a danger zone, sir! Right, there,” she said, poking each butt cheek with her finger. “Yup. Highway to your danger zone,” and she dragged her palms down his back until she cupped his ass again.

“Carter!” he warned again. Teal’c could have sworn Jack had a smirk on his face. 

They had finally gotten to the Stargate. Daniel dialed Earth, and they all walked through, Sam still slung over Jack’s shoulder.

They arrived in the Gate room to eyes that were staring at the spectacle before them. Sam was still singing, and none of the guys looked happy at the moment. 

“She needs to go to medical. Now,” Jack said. 

He put her down at the base of the ramp and sat her against the rail while they waited for a gurney or wheelchair. 

“General. The tea was fantastic!” Sam said, slurring her speech and looking at Hammond. Hammond cocked his head in the guys’ direction.

“It’s a long story, sir. But, apparently, the ceremony tea was laced,” Daniel said.

“Ceremony? What ceremony? I thought this place was uninhabited?” Hammond asked.

“Apparently not, GeneralHammond,” Teal’c interjected.

“Some sort of a spring solstice type of ceremony. Intended to bring plentiful crops and children in the new season,” Daniel continued. 

“Major Carter didn’t….” Hammond stopped his sentence. He knew the guys would never let Sam get into trouble.

“Of course not, sir. We got her out of there. We tried to warn her, but she didn’t want to be rude. You know Sam,” Jack said. 

Just then a medic got there with a gurney. Teal’c bent down to pick up Sam and place her on the gurney.

“Keep me posted, Colonel. We will debrief when the Major is feeling better,” Hammond said, and walked back to his office.

The guys checked in their weapons, then went to shower and change. In the locker room was a bit of banter between friends.

“So. Danger Zone, huh, Jack?” Daniel said with a smirk.

“Stuff it, Daniel.”

“I believe MajorCarter was trying to stuff your six into her hands, O’Neill,” Teal’c added.

“Et, tu, T? Really?” Jack said, but then added a smile at the end. “Come on. Let’s go see how she is doing.”

By the time they got to medical, Sam was fast asleep. She was hooked up to a heart monitor, and the nurse had started an IV. The three of them walked in a few steps before Doctor Fraiser stopped them.

“So, sounds like that was fun,” Janet said with a big smile on her face. 

“It was something,” Jack said. “How is she?”

“She should be fine. May have a hell of a hangover tomorrow, but all vitals are normal,” Janet said.

Teal’c raised his eyebrow and bowed his head at the prognosis. All three men looked at Sam as she slept.

“Oh, Colonel, and it’s nice to hear she had your six. In her hands,” Janet said, smiling.

Daniel let out a choking laugh. Teal’c almost smiled. Jack just let out a gruff harrumph.

“Nice,” he said sarcastically. “I’ll come check on her tomorrow,” Jack said, then turned and left for home.

As much as he liked Sam’s hands on his body, he was very grateful to have his team home again and in one piece. As he waited for the elevator, those in ear shot heard him singing “Danger Zone.”


	2. I'm Not Doing That Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Will You Look At That (Danger Zone)
> 
> Fictober 2020  
> Prompt number: 8. I’m Not Doing That Again  
> Fandom: Stargate SG-1  
> Rating: General Audiences  
> Warnings/Tags: Language - uses the word 'ass'.

Sam woke the next day to find herself in sickbay. She rolled her eyes as she started to remember things. Then she closed her eyes tight again, straining against the lights in the room. She had a huge headache, probably a massive hangover to the magic tea she drank.

A small laugh passed through her as she remembered some of the things that she said when she was slung over Teal’c and the Colonel’s shoulder. Then she sobered quickly when she remembered grabbing on tight to the Colonel’s ass.

“Oh, no,” she mumbled to herself, covering her eyes with the crook of her elbow.

About an hour later, Doctor Fraiser came in. Sam could hear her making her way to her by the clicks of her heels on the concrete floor. She doesn’t remember anything from when they got back, so hopefully this will be a completely benign conversation. The curtain to her bed opened a little, and in walked Janet.

“Good morning, Sam. How are you feeling?” Janet asked. She noted Janet had a rather suspicious smile on her face.

“Fine, I guess. I feel like I have a massive hangover. Must have been the tea,” Sam said.

“I bet. You came back yesterday high as a kite. Let me get your vitals and see about getting you out of here.”

Sam consented to the taking of the vitals, and after her blood pressure was done, she started talking to Janet again.

“So, I didn’t say anything yesterday, did I?” Sam asked.

“Oh, sweetie, you said quite a bit. Must have been a heck of a return trip to the Stargate,” Janet said, trying her best not to laugh.

Sam turned nine hundred shades of red, and sunk back into her pillow and covered her eyes with her palms.

“God, why me?” she asked mockingly.

“You know,” Janet said, lowering her voice to a whisper, “they say when your inhibitions are lowered, you act out more of what you want.” She laughed and patted Sam’s thigh through the blankets covering her.

Sam looked at Janet with daggers in her eyes.

“I didn’t, did I? Oh my god, Janet, who else knows?” Sam pleaded.

“Just the guys, me, and possibly General Hammond, but he’s not going to push anything due to the circumstances. He was more worried about your safe being as usual.”

Janet paused a moment like she was going to say something, but just stared at Sam.

“What? I can’t be more embarrassed than I am now. Let’s have it,” Sam chided to her friend.

“Do you remember?” Janet said, trying to get Sam on the same page. Sam stared at her and had no idea what she was talking about.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

Janet poked her head around to see if anyone else was nearby. Coast was clear.

“Is it nice?” Janet asked in a whisper.

“Is _what_ nice?” Sam asked, whispering back. 

Janet gave Sam the look that said, ‘come on, you know exactly what I mean.’

“His ass!” she hissed quietly quietly, and used her hands pretending to grab on to someone’s ass. 

“Come on, Sam, we all know it’s nice looking. Do you remember how it felt?” Janet asked with a huge smile.

“How did you...wait. I did what?” Sam tried to play it off like she had no idea what Janet was talking about.

“Nice try. You already blabbed it, and Daniel spilled the beans quietly on his post-op check.”

“This is so embarrassing,” Sam said just as a familiar voice followed up.

“What is so embarrassing?” he asked before slinking through the curtain into Sam’s space.

“Hi sir. Just the whole drinking tea and getting high thing,” Sam said.

“So, was she a good patient for you, Doc? She didn’t wiggle too much for you did she?” Jack said in an obvious move to embarrass Sam even more.

“Good morning, sir, and no. No wiggling. A lot of giggling, though,” Janet replied, and looked at Sam, smiling at her.

“I’m never going to live this one down, am I?” Sam asked, burying her face in a pillow.

“Nope. You will not.”

“Well, I'm not doing that again,” she replied.

“We tried to tell ya,” he said with a smile. “When can she go home?” Jack asked Janet.

“Pretty sure she can now. Everything is back to normal. Well, normal for her at least,” Janet said, picking up Sam’s chart.

“I’d rather just go to work,” Sam said.

“Ah!” Jack said loudly, and raised his finger in the air, “You know the rules. Getting intoxicated on another planet means a day off of work. Hammond’s orders,” Jack said smiling at her. 

“I grabbed you clean clothes out of your locker. Just swing by my office before you leave, OK?” Janet asked. 

“I will. Thanks, Janet.”

“And I will leave you to it, then,” Jack said, and readied to leave.

“Um, sir. Wait. Please,” Sam said.

Jack stopped and looked at Janet. She motioned for him to stay, and she turned and left to go to her office.

Jack stared at Sam. He could tell she was working on the words she wanted to say. She looked confused and embarrassed at the same time. He always thought this version of Sam was incredibly attractive.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Sir, listen, I’m really sorry. That was entirely inappropriate of me. If you want to write me up, I won’t object.”

He looked at her like she was crazy.

“Carter. You were drunk as a skunk on alien tea. I can hardly write you up for not wanting to offend the locals. I’m just glad you didn’t consent to their fertility celebration,” he said with a smile on his face.

She blushed red again, and wiped her eyes with her hands.

“Yes, well, there is that. But I really am sorry,” she said again.

“I know. It’s OK, Carter,” he tried to reassure her.

They both shared a moment of their own silent communication, each letting the other know they were really OK.

“So. Why don’t you get changed, then wiggle yourself out of here, and I’ll see you tomorrow?” he said with his smirk-ass grin of his.

She threw her head back on the pillow and grunted in feigned embarrassment.

“Have a good day, sir,” she said, and he left her to change.

Sam changed and gathered all her things out of the medical space she was in. She made her way to Janet’s office to check out for the day.

“I’m all done. I’ll be at home if you need me.”

“OK, great. Maybe this weekend do you want to come over for dinner? I know Cassie would love to see you,” Janet offered. 

“I would love to, thank you,” she smiled at Janet then turned to leave. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned back to Janet.

“Oh, Janet, one more thing,” Sam said, and waited for Janet to look up at her.

“It is nice. _Very_ nice,” and she smiled and left Janet’s office to go home and think about what she held in her hands yesterday.


End file.
